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Attitude Meets Espionage / Espionage with Attitude.

Cast
| Classic Lines | Notes | Pictures | Production Information | Quotes | Specials | Official Synopsis | My Summary | My Review

Cast

Character Actor
Arnold Gundars Malcolm McDowell
Kelly "K.O." Robinson Eddie Murphy
Agent Alexander Scott Owen Wilson
Rachel Famke Janssen
Carlos Gary Cole
Jerry Phil Lewis
T.J. Viv Leacock
Lunchbox Keith Dallas
Lieutenant Percy Tate Taylor
Edna Lynda Boyd
McIntyre Bill Mondy
Vegas Commentator Larry Merchant 
Vegas Commentator Sugar Ray Leonard
Vegas Ring Announcer Jimmy Lennon Jr.
Vegas Referee Joe Cortez
Europe Referee Gordon Racette
Europe Announcer Steve Albert
Europe Announcer Bobby Czyz
Cedric Mills Darren Shahlavi
Himself Blake "The Blade" Lirette
Zhu Tam Dana Lee
Zhu Tam's Pilot Edmond Wong
General Elmo Tucker Gus Lynch
Kelly's Pilot Malik McCall
BNS Man Ray Galletti
Jim BNS Agent Mike Dopud
Bob BNS Agent Aleks Paunovic
Beautiful Girl Kendall Saunders
Beautiful Girl Crystal Lowe
Vespa Guy Peter Vida
BNS Equipment Technician JB Bivnes
Massage Patron Steve Lesko
Tent Chef Zinaid Memisevic
Spa Patron John Scott
Spa Patron Norman Edge
Master of Ceremonies Peter Linka
Abi Bernard J. Manuel
Hungarian Violinist Mihay Tabanyl
Hungarian Cop Csaba Szücs
Hungarian Cop Yaroslav Poverlo
Gundars' Posse Eric Bryson
Gundars' Posse Glenn Ennis
Gundars' Posse George Josef
Gundars' Posse Roger Lewis
Gundars' Posse Tony Morelli
Gundars' Posse Layton Morrison
Gundars' Posse Mike Roselli
Gundars' Posse Kevin Rushton
Vegas Showgirl Simone Bailly
Vegas Showgirl Kylea Beil
Vegas Showgirl Ocean Bloom
Vegas Showgirl Jade Boragno
Vegas Showgirl Kristene Kenward
Vegas Showgirl Deborah Macatumpag
Vegas Showgirl Colette Perry
Vegas Showgirl Angela Uyeda
Mayor of Budapest Demszky Gábor
Siberian Guard #2 Taras Kostyuk
Interpol Agent John H. Tobin

Directed by Betty Thomas
Written by Ronald Bass and Robert Harling

Classic Lines

"It smells like ass soup in here."

Notes

Pictures

DVD
Gundars on the Trailers page
Malcolm costume test photo

Movie
Gundars shaking Kelly's hand

Betty Thomas standing in front of a picture of Malcolm during the briefing

Kelly with arm on Gundars

The plane taking off from a rooftop

Zhu Tam and the cloaking device w/Gundars behind him

Memorabilia
DVD cover - Front

Ticket stub for the first day

Paperback Movie Tie-in - Front

Paperback Movie Tie-in - Back

Promotional recording pen with case

1 Sheet Poster

Website
Screenshot when you win the 3D website game

Screenshot when you win the email challenge game

Production Information

List of Walkie Talkie Channels on the Set

1 AD/General
2 Chat
3 Grip
4 Electrics
5 Chat/Stunts
6 Camera
7 SPFX
8 Transport/Picture Cars
9 Private
Production Office 604-453-4730
Production Fax 604-453-4731

Quotes

"I do play the heavy - he is selling a plane and has very special traits, but I can't tell you what they are. I had a great time with it. Owen Wilson I real enjoyed working with. Eddie Murphy is a great comic actor - a great actor. We worked on a professional level very well, it was great working with him. I've always admired him and it was exciting for me to work with him." - Malcolm from my interview with him 5/24/02

"I don't know, he's sort of industrialist. [It's just] two or three scenes to scare people and I disappear. I asked [director] Betty Thomas, who I got on very well with. I said, 'Betty, where do I go?' She goes, 'Well, I don't know. That's a good question. You'll come back.' A bit like that. Just to work with her was the reason I did that [film]."

"I must say, I did try and get out of it because it was just after 9/11 and I didn't want to fly. In fact, I don't think anybody wanted to fly. I said to my agent, 'Please get me out of this film. I am not getting on a plane for anything.' So, they said, 'We want you to do the part. We'll send a private plane.' So, I got on this private plane, and I notice all these boxes in the back and they were all these Cheerios for Eddie Murphy. So, it wasn't for me. The plane was actually for the Cheerios and I just got a ride on the Cheerio plane."

"He (Murphy) brought his enormous talent. That's all he really need bring. Eddie is extraordinary and I love working with him. My [character's] name was something Gundars. He'd take that and go, 'Gundah, Mr. Gundah.' And start all this. It was just great to see him play." from actionadventure.about.com 7/10/02

Specials

Not one of these had any interviews with Malcolm and were all horribly boring and repetitive.

Official Synopsis

Based on the 1960's television series I Spy with Bill Cosby and Robert Culp. A secret agent, Alexander Scott (Wilson), recruits professional boxing star Kelly Robinson (Murphy) to help the CIA retrieve a stolen $250 million dollar fighter jet prototype (the F-22 Raptor) that's invisible to radar. The stolen F-22 is believed to have been purchased by Eastern European arms dealer  Arnold Gundars (Malcolm). Gundars' legitimate occupation is being owner of various European basketball teams. When he invites Robinson overseas to watch his team play, the U.S. government sees this as the perfect opportunity to get a mole (Robinson) inside Gundars' operation and to find out whom he plans on selling the F-22 to. It's hate at first sight when Scott is unwittingly paired up with Robinson to track down the Air Force's missing stealth bomber, the country's new top secret weapon. The fate of the free world is in their hands. Now if they can only stop fighting with one another long enough to track down the real enemy.

My Summary

    A man is walking through a snowy landscape with a helicopter overhead watching him. The man is BNS Special Agent Alex Scott and his mission is to capture a pilot in Siberia. The pilot stole the Air Force's Switchblade Stealth fighter and landed it in a Russian bloc country and has sold it to an arms dealer. Alex is up on a ridge and spots him with his night vision binoculars at a hut below. Suddenly his cell phone goes off and since he is covered up in heavy snow gear he fumbles with getting it out of his pocket and drops it in the snow. When he steps over to get it the snow breaks off and falls, starting and avalanche and he falls down the mountain and lands on the pilot. The phone is still ringing and it is his boss Max. Max wants to know if he has found the pilot and he tells him he has. He wants to know if he is alive and Alex looks over and can only see his feet sticking out of the snow. He grabs a foot and the guy screams so he tells Max he is OK. He pulls him out of the snow, but his leg is broken. Soon after the Russians are coming with guns drawn. Alex puts the pilot over his shoulder and takes off with the Russians in hot pursuit. He runs through the woods and at one point thinks he can fire on them, but it turns out a tank is coming up on him. He makes it to the rendezvous and drops the pilot down and the door gunner fires on the approaching enemy. Alex goes to get the pilot in, but it is too late...he is dead. The helicopter takes off into the night firing away.
    Kelly "K.O." Robinson is boxing in Las Vegas. He is the undefeated middleweight champ with a 56-0 record. It is a big HBO fight in a packed house with much pomp and circumstance. The champ comes out in a large gold cage carried by many beautiful women. When he gets to the ring he bends the bars like he is breaking out. Kelly quickly gets into a showboating fight mode and taunts his opponent that it will be the first time he will make the cover of Sports Illustrated - too bad it'll be him with his head back on the mat.  The fight starts and Kelly taunts him and gets some quick shots in. Soon his opponent is starting to hug him and get tired. Kelly throws him off and then taunts him to hit him by acting like he is Stevie Wonder. He closes his eyes and shakes his head back and forth. When the guy throws a punch to Kelly's head he ducks and blasts him with an uppercut that sends him down. He continues with his showboating and posing for the cameras.
    Back in the green room Kelly is getting a new tattoo. Whenever he wins he gets another number line on his arm marking the tally. His assistant T.J. tells him he better stop fighting because he is going to run out of arm soon. Kelly tells him he is his boy because he has been with him for ten years and he doesn't need to kiss his ass. His other assistant goofs on T.J. and Kelly tells him to watch it because he has only been with him three years and expects him to still kiss his ass. Just then there is a cell phone call and T.J. answers it. It is President Bush and he wants to talk to Kelly. He tells Kelly that his country needs him to work on a top secret mission when he is in Budapest. Kelly happily agrees and brags about it to the three ladies sitting with him.
    Back in the Washington HQ Alex is talking with the woman in charge of the gadgets and she is walking with him around the main area where they are testing new equipment. Carlos, who is the number one agent, is there. Alex asks him how it went in Cuba and he is modest about it. The women starts gushing about how he single-handedly saved everything. Carlos asks Alex how his mission went and he says it went well. Carlos asks then if the pilot died and he admits he did. Carlos tells him that he is a good agent anyway and is off to his next assignment in a fancy sports car. Alex asks the woman if Rachel is around. She says to ask Carlos because they just did a two-week stakeout with her and she would give anything to be able to do a stakeout with him. Alex is upset to think Rachel was with Carlos and doesn't believe she said anything about it. The women says she didn't have to say anything, she just came back with a look of total fulfillment.
    Alex goes upstairs and coverage of Kelly's fight is on all the TVs. He watches for a little bit and thinks Kelly is the most arrogant jerk he has ever seen as he grabs a mug of coffee. He is called into a meeting for his next assignment and Max and Air Force General Tucker are there. The general greats him as Special Agent Scott which pleases Alex because he has only recently been promoted and likes hearing he is special. He then drinks the coffee which is too hot and burns his tongue. He runs out to get ice and the general asks Max if Carlos is available, but he isn't. Max assures him Alex can do the job.
    Alex comes back in and is briefed. The Air Force top secret stealth fighter plane, the F-22 Switchblade, has been stolen. The plane is unique because not only can it become invisible to radar, it can become invisible to the human eye with a cloaking device. Arnold Gundars has the plane and is hosting a boxing championship in Budapest as cover to sell the plane to the highest bidder. A check of the guest list shows every evil dictator in the world will be there and Alex knows security will be tight. Alex asks if Rachel will be involved since he knows she is Hungarian. Max says she is already there. Alex says it will be like a stakeout. He says no, because they want him to get the plane back. Max takes him into another room and Kelly is on the TV talking. Alex tells him to turn the jerk off and Kelly tells the blond surfer boy to watch his mouth. It isn't a TV at all, it is a video conference call. Max explains that the only way to smuggle him in is as part of Kelly's entourage. Alex isn't happy about that, but has no choice. 
    Alex goes down to pick up his spy gear. He goes to pick up a briefcase, but the equipment technician tells him that is for Carlos. Carlos gets all the best, newest most powerful gear. Alex's spy camera is huge and Carlos' is tiny. He asks him why is it his looks like it is from Radio Shack in 1972 and Carlos is small, sleek and sexy. The guy basically gives him a "that's the way it is" look and goes off. When he isn't looking Alex swipes some of Carlos' gear. 
    The next day Alex meets Kelly at the airport. Kelly pulls up in a super stretch SUV limo loaded with women. Alex tries to take charge, but Kelly has told his boys that he was hired to watch out for the president's retarded nephew. Alex tries to explain that they are working together on the same team like the Harlem Globetrotters. Alex is the leader like Meadowlark Lemon and Kelly is Curly Neil. Kelly thinks that is funny and tells Alex to shut up, grab him some food and his bags and to meet him on his private jet.
    T.J. and the other assistant are outside trying to get a room for Kelly n Budapest, but they aren't getting anywhere because the hotel wants to talk to Kelly, but he doesn't make his own calls. Alex comes by with the bags and tells them he can help because he speaks Hungarian. They give him the phone and he tells the clerk to give them the cheapest room in the basement.
    On the plane everyone is getting strapped in after takeoff because Kelly is taking control of the plane. Alex wants to talk to him and is surprised to learn Kelly is a pilot. He isn't though. When Alex goes to talk to him Kelly lifts the plane up high and sends it into a dive and Alex goes rolling down the aisle to the back. Alex thinks he is really witty and tries to talk to Kelly after he is done playing. He tells him that they need to be at the party at 8pm, but Kelly says he will get there at 11. Alex says that is not acceptable because Gundars could be gone by then. Kelly tells him that Kelly Robinson has spoken and that is final. Alex says it is annoying if he will always speak of himself in the third person. He tells him it won't be annoying until after 11 when he arrives. Alex then tells him he guesses he'll have to give T.J. the eye camera since he won't go in at 8. Kelly doesn't want T.J. to try any of the gadgets and wants to see it. Alex is wearing the watch he swiped from Carlos and pushes a button and it opens. Inside are two contact lenses. Alex puts one in and gives the other to Kelly. When he pushes a button Kelly can now see what Alex sees. He thinks that is great. "I can see you looking at me looking at you", he exclaims. Alex pushes another button and gives Kelly a receiver to put behind his ear that can pick up Alex's voice which Kelly also really enjoys. Even after that he tells him he still won't go to the party until 11pm so he has to drop it.
    Since Kelly can see what Alex is doing, Alex goes up to the cockpit. He stabs the pilot with a sleep dart and sends the plane into a dive. He tells Kelly that the plane will crash if he doesn't agree to go to the party at 8pm. Kelly tells him to crash the plane then. After losing most of their altitude Kelly tells him to wake up the pilot. Alex tells him he can't because he is knocked out. He then agrees to go to the party at 8 if Alex gets them out of it. Alex has tricked him because he can fly the plane. Kelly is pissed he tricked him and once again tells him he will go to the party at 11.
    Kelly and his entourage arrive at the hotel room only to find it is tiny and contains only two bunk beds in the basement. Kelly is extremely pissed and wants to kill his assistant but they tell him it wasn't their fault, it was "mission boy." He then gives them one more chance not to screw up before he kills them and goes outside while they work it out.  Alex is outside and asks him how he likes his room. Kelly asks him how he'll like him showing up at the party at 12 now. A local woman approaches Kelly and tells him how much of a big fan she is and wants to know if he uses the "perfume" he sells. He tells her it is cologne and that she should check for herself. She leans in close, sniffs him and tells him she would like an autograph back at her place. He is only too anxious to oblige. Alex pulls him away and says he is a spy now and he has to think like one. He can't go running off with strange women. He tells him after boxing, being with strange women is what he does best. Kelly leaves with her and Alex asks him to find out if she has a sister. Kelly says then it'll be the three of them and no need to call Alex about it.
    They get around the corner and a van goes speeding by nearly hitting them. Kelly yells at them and the van stops and backs up next to him. He thinks it is just road rage, but four of guys in masks with machine guns jump out and throw him inside and the woman gets in the front. They take him back to a base and handcuff him to a chair. They want to know all about the BNS agent that was on him plane. He says he doesn't know what they are talking about. They keep pressing, but he keeps denying until the woman says she will have to cut off his penis to get him to talk. She cuts his belt off and he starts blabbing about his hair color, height and that he is an agent, but he doesn't know the guys name. Before they can go any farther the door is kicked open by Alex and he shoots the four men in the room and the woman goes after him. Kelly falls out of his chair and gets one hand free and goes for a gun. The woman knees Alex and gets him to the ground. Alex yells at Kelly to shoot her and he does. Alex tells him he did great and the woman gets up. Kelly shoots her two more times, but Alex tells him it is OK. The women is a fellow agent named Rachel and it was all just a test. The four guys get up and are laughing. Kelly is totally shaken by the whole thing, but is glad to be alive. Alex set the whole thing up to see how well Kelly would do and is pleased by how he acted. Rachel apologizes for treating Alex so rough and he said that it was not a problem and he liked it.
    They take him outside into the main HQ and explain the mission to him. They are to get in the party and try to plant a tracking pen on Gundars in hopes that it will lead them to the plane. Now that Kelly is all filled in he tells them he has to go get ready if he is going to be at the party by 8. Alex calls for tuxedos for them.
    Rachel acts as the limo driver and takes them to the party. Alex tries to compliment her a few times, but it all comes out sounding lame. Kelly overhears him and goofs on him knowing he must really like this girl. Alex admits she is special, but he hasn't worked up the nerve to ask her out. Kelly tells him he can help with that. They make it to security and they let Kelly right in and are big fans of his. They stop Alex and he yells to Kelly to let them know he is with him. Kelly tells them he has never seen Alex before and to take him around back and shoot him, which they do. Before they get too far though Kelly tells them that he was just kidding about that and the white guy was with him. When they are back together he tells Alex that now they are even for the hotel.
    Once inside Kelly is greeted by many people including the mayor of Budapest. They talk Hungarian so he has no idea what they are saying. In the middle of the party is a boxing ring where two guys are sparring and Gundars is watching. When he spots Kelly he comes over to introduce himself. Soon after Alex tells Kelly one of the girls by the fountain wants his autograph, but he has no pen. Finally Gundars offers his pen and Kelly signs a napkin and pockets the pen enabling him to switch pens when he gives it back. Before Gundars can notice the pen is a fake one of his goons tells him there is business that requires his attention.
    When Gundars leaves Alex wants to follow and see what he is up to, so he tells Kelly to create a distraction. Kelly decides to climb into the ring and calls out Cedric Mills, his opponent for the fight tomorrow. He steps in the ring and Kelly says they are going to spar open handed a bit as a demonstration for the big night. Kelly tells him exactly which hand and where he is going to hit him and he still is able to. The enrages Cedric and he launches a bunch of blows at Kelly, but he block them all.
    Meanwhile Gundars business consists of inviting men back to his office to place bids on the laptop computer on his desk for the plane. The man who is likely a representative for North Korea comes in to place bid. He wants to know if the plane is really invisible. Gundars insures him it is and in fact he has probably already passed it a half dozen times while driving around the city. He places his bid and leaves. Alex is suspended from the ceiling by a cable and starts to work his way down to the desk to access the computer files. Before he can get the files Kelly suddenly walks in. Alex asks him what the heck is he doing there and Kelly tells him he created the distraction. Alex tells him he was supposed to stay out they and not to come in. Kelly doesn't listen and Alex is exasperated and tells him that he just tripped the alarm. Kelly says there is no alarm and Alex turns a switch on the desk that reveals red beams crisscrossing the floor. Alex quickly drops down and gives Kelly a mask to put on and secures him to the line. Kelly isn't happy about the mask or the securing because it tickles. They start going up but are spinning around and the anchor to the roof breaks free and sends them falling. Kelly asks him what kind of spy is he and Alex explains he wasn't prepared for him to be there. He shoots the line back up and they start over. Before they can make a clean getaway Gundars enters with the next bidder and the goon informs him the silent alarm has been tripped. He sends the bidder away and locks the room after he enters. He quickly sees them escaping to a window on the domed roof and sends his men after them.
    They start scaling their way down the dome and Alex tells Kelly he is like a double agent trying to sabotage them. They make it to the ledge when Gundars men start coming out on both sides and firing on them. They have slight cover from statues and the only way to go is down. Alex tells Kelly to get ready to jump, but he won't do it. Alex tells him he'll have to come back for him then, but instead tackles Kelly and they go over the side together. They land on a tent that is part of a street fair and are unscathed. Kelly tells him that wasn't so bad and Alex tells him rule #1 is to always have an escape.
    They come out in red waiters jackets carrying food trays. Seconds later Gundars men are on the ground and spot them. Alex tells them it is time to run and the trays go flying and the shots start coming. They make it through a giant iron gate and Alex puts a device on it that melts the lock to buy them some time. They ditch their jackets and jump into an alpine type car that carries them down the mountain. It isn't moving fast enough for Kelly's tastes, but Alex tells him it is OK because they have equipment stashed in it. One of the men starts shooting and as they get close Alex throws the roof hatch off on one of them. He then grabs a smoke bomb and gives another to Kelly. They throw them out and soon the whole area is engulfed in smoke. Gundars' men can't see them and some of them fall. This gives time for Alex to inflate a small balloon which they fly out of the car in. Everything is going well until the balloon clears the smoke and Gundars' men can see it. They start shooting at them and score some hits to the balloon. Alex has planned on landing in a grassy field, but now they are out of control. Instead they come down on a flagpole high over the entrance to a tunnel. Cars are traveling underneath them and when a giant car carrier comes under them they drop down on it.
    They land on the windshield of a car and Alex thinks he broke his leg at first, but is all right. They aren't free yet because now Gundars' men are in pursuit by car. Alex has no more options and Kelly tells him he has an idea. He unhooks the car that they are on and opens up the ashtray to find the keys and explains he used to steal cars before he was a boxer. He throws the car into reverse and floors it until the car behind him dislodges the car on the end and it falls on the pursuing car. They are still not completely free as there is another car in pursuit. Alex then is inspired to take the explosive he swiped from Carlos and to push the other car to the end and slap the device on it with a seven second timer. He jumps back in their car and has Kelly drive it up while complaining that Carlos always gets the better equipment. The car explodes and flies off the carrier and lands on the other car creating a fiery wreck.  Kelly then punches the ramp button and they drive off the carrier with one last car in pursuit. 
    They wind up driving into a village on a road around a fountain with no way out. They trade their convertible to some guys nearby for their scooter and drive down a long flight of steps as the last car arrives and starts shooting. They make it to a road and flee into the city with the car still in pursuit. They are able to cut in front of two tracks full of trollies and Gundars' men have to wait for them to pass. When it is clear the scooter is overturned in the street and they are gone.
    Alex and Kelly have climbed into the sewer, but there is no way out. They are able to hide in the shadows so they aren't seen, but are forced to wait out the night there. Kelly can't believe how bad it smells in there and that he made $27 million last year only to wind up in a sewer. Alex can't believe he has made that much and then warns him about the methane because it will make him loopy. Alex asks him about his family, but Kelly tells him not to waste his time because he never talks about it. Soon after he is spilling his guts because of the methane. He tells him his grandmother was the first one to punch him for asking a stupid question and that was how he wanted to become a boxer. Alex admits that parents just don't care that much anymore. Kelly starts to cry and tells him sometimes he is scared inside even though he acts so tough in the ring. Alex tells him that if he takes away all the fame, fortune and women that they are basically the same guy.
    They make it back to HQ the next morning and everyone is glad to see they weren't dead, especially Rachel. Alex says she looks tired and should go in the back and get some rest and she says she stayed up all night looking for them. She agrees to go get a nap and Alex tells him they will cover for him. Since the pen hasn't left the palace all night nothing is going on anyway. Soon after Kelly tells Alex it is time to make his move, but he tells him maybe tomorrow. Kelly tells him to go back there now and he'll talk him through it with the earpiece that he is wearing. He reluctantly agrees and when he sees Rachel laying there practically blows it. He doesn't repeat everything Kelly says and just says he was checking on her and leaves. Kelly yells at him to get back in there and he does. Kelly tells him to sing "Sexual Healing" to her and gives him the lines. Alex is so dopey though that he just says them without singing. Rachel thinks it is funny though, admits she had a crush on him, and lifts up the sheets to reveal she is only wearing panties. Kelly tells him to get over there and bite her ass and he says "no" out loud. Rachel thinks he is telling her no and covers back up. He says he means yes and she lifts the cover again. Because he keeps arguing with Kelly he almost screws it up again. She then gets up and says she knows what he wants and then throws him up against the wall and slams him on the bed thinking he likes it rough. She jumps on top of him and she starts to unzip her top and Alex turns the watch off. Kelly is all upset because it was getting good. Before they can go any further though the Gundars' has started to move and they are called back outside.
    The trio quickly speeds off with their micro tracker and it leads them to a bath house. Rachel drives and waits outside since it is male only. In the lobby Kelly says he can be the champ and save the world in one day and that he will probably get a parade. Once inside the guys are a bit repulsed because it is just filled with stinky, sweaty, naked men. The tracker leads to the back room and Alex senses it is a trap and wants to leave. Kelly says he didn't come all this way just to turn around. Besides he is semi-psychic and is right 7 out of 10 times. He has got the feeling the plane is back there. Alex says that is insane that a plane could be in the back room of a bath house. Kelly says maybe it is in 1000 pieces by now like in a chop shop. They go in and the room is full of men getting messaged and looking at them funny. Alex sees a gun and they hit they deck and start firing. A fire fight erupts and men start coming out on the balcony to complete the trap. Kelly asks what his escape plan is and Alex says he doesn't have one because like an idiot he was following him. Alex starts shooting holes in a gas pipe and has Kelly throw a gun up there which he shoots to create a spark. After a few seconds the whole balcony blows up and sends the men flying. They are able to escape and see Gundars getting away. Before they can get in the car they see Rachel speed off in pursuit after them across a bridge. The car doesn't get far because it soon detonates and Alex is devastated that Rachel is dead. Kelly wants to know what they can do, but there isn't anything.
    They walk back to HQ, but before they get there they are arguing under a bridge. Alex is sick of Kelly screwing things up and Kelly tells him he has to kick his ass now for disrespecting him. Alex is unphased and takes off his coat telling him there are seven ways he can disable him. Kelly launches a quick left that connects with Alex's chin and he sends him down. He quickly gets up and kicks Kelly in the balls. Kelly can't believe how low Alex sunk and is doubled over in pain. He in turn kicks Alex in the balls and now they are both doubled over. The police come seconds later and Alex tells them in Hungarian that the black guy tried to mug him and they arrest Kelly leaving Alex to head back to HQ.
    When Alex arrives he finds the entire HQ has been smashed to pieces and there is a cell phone ringing. He opens up the desk and pulls out the phone - it is Max. Max wants to know what is wrong because he has been trying to get a hold of someone for three hours. He wants to send backup, but Alex tells him he's got it under control and hangs up on him.
    T.J. and the crew are at the arena and are worried because Kelly hasn't shown up and the fight is about to start. He finally does show up all pissed off and won't talk to them about it and goes in and gets ready for the fight. Since he is mad about what has happened he has lost his focus and doesn't beat Cedric right away. The fight goes up to round three.
    Alex is on his way over to the fight to see if he can spot Gundars leaving. He sees him coming out of the park with the buyer and quickly tries to attach the tracking device to one of their cars. It won't stay so he decides to jump in the trunk instead. The cars speed off and he tries to listen in with a hearing device, but it is all garbled. When the cars stop he makes noise in the trunk and the driver hops out to investigate. When he opens it up Alex knocks him out by kicking him.  He gets out and sees activity on the bridge which is right across from the palace where the fight is and looks up. On top of the bridge it looks like there are birds sitting in midair. It must be the plane. He works his way up to the top and there is one guard left who is busy watching the fight. Alex hooks up a jumper cable to a nearby control panel and clips it to the stairs. When the guard comes down to investigate he is zapped when he touches the railing.
    Gundars is above with Zhu Tam the North Korean bidder. He tells Gundars his government wanted the plane and price was no object. Gundars opens up his laptop and the man enters the code to transfer $1.2 billion into Gundars bank account. Gundars gives him the sequencing code and the remote. He presses the button and the plane suddenly appears as he assured him he had passed it by before.  The pilot goes up into the cockpit and the crew installs a bomb to the wing. Gundars says it looks like an older thermonuclear bomb and the man says it is and it will be a big surprise to Washington. Gundars looks horrified, but says nothing as it is too late.  Before the pilot can start the plane Alex sneaks up on Gundars and puts a gun to his head. He gets them to all drop their weapons so he won't shoot him. Before he can do anything though someone sneaks up from behind on him. It is Rachel, she is a double agent. She ties him up and the pilot enters the code. The code comes up invalid and a ten minute self-destruct timer initiates. Gundars assures him the code is correct as he watched the pilot enter it himself. He tells Rachel to take care of it as that is what she was hired for. Alex says to Gundars he must mean something went wrong in case the plane was stolen. Rachel knows Alex must have the correct code since his mission was to fly it back. He won't talk so she starts kicking him. 
    After a bad kick to the head she activates his watch and now Kelly can see her pummeling him because he is still wearing the other contact lense.  He starts having trouble fighting because one eye sees Cedric and the other sees Rachel. He starts to flounder in the ring like he is boxing a ghost. This gives Cedric a chance to hit him hard and Kelly goes down for the first time ever. He sees Rachel stab Alex in the leg and hears Alex mention the top of the bridge. Kelly closes one eye so he can fight and quickly finishes off Cedric so he can get out of there. He knocks him out and takes off out of the ring without his usual showboating.
    He gets up there and is able to free Alex as Rachel is cutting off his belt and going for his penis. He once again gets the bad guys to drop their guns and a firefight erupts. Alex and him run for cover and start shooting. Alex can't understand how he found him and he told him because of the eye piece and hearing device and that now he saved him he wants his parade. Many of the men go down and bullets hit the plane spilling fuel. Alex and Kelly run out of bullets and before they get killed someone else shoots the other bad guys. They look up and it is Carlos parachuting to the bridge with guns blazing. Kelly is really impressed and says now that is a real spy. since Gundars was just killed Rachel now has his computer and Alex is heading for he cockpit. Alex gets in and tries to deactivate the self-destruct and warns Carlos that Rachel is a double agent. He says he knows and grabs her chin. This freaks Kelly out and he says that Carlos has to be a double agent as well or else how would he have known. He thinks it is a trick to get Alex to stop the self-destruct. Alex doesn't believe it, but Kelley confronts Carlos and punches him out. Alex enters the code and it doesn't work, so instead he rips out the bomb and throws it over the side of the bridge where it detonates.
    Kelly is covering Rachel and she tells Alex how proud of him she is. She explains to him that the whole thing was a setup to bring Carlos out into the open. She was just pretending to be a double agent. Kelly doesn't buy it, but Alex is starting to believe her. Kelly tells him to remember her kicking and stabbing him. She says they wasn't serious wounds and it was all because Carlos was jealous of them. Alex says he doesn't feel too bad and these kind of double agent things go on all the time. Kelly isn't completely convinced, but figures Alex knows best. Before they can sort it out Carlos gets up and tries to attack Alex. He is mad because he is on Alex's side and he screwed it all up. Kelly tells Rachel to stay put and goes to help. He pulls on Carlos' ponytail, but it comes off because it is fake. He freaks and this gives him and opening to knock Carlos out again.  Alex decides to tie him up just to make sure and then they realize that Rachel has disappeared.
    Kelly thought he was a good guy and a double agent. Alex says he is confused and doesn't know who to trust anymore and the new policy is to just tie everyone up first. Alex tells them they are leaving anyway and they get in the plane and take off. The wings come out of the back and he tells Kelly that is why they call it the Switchblade. They lift up and blast off only to have a warning seconds later of nosecone failure and the plane drops right down into the river. They escape and Kelly says so much for them being heroes and getting his parade. He grabs onto a flotation device as he waits for Alex to figure out what to do. Alex notices that the flotation device is really a nuclear bomb and that they saved millions of people from dying. Now Kelly is happy because they are heroes again and he can get his parade again.
    Later on in a hotel lobby Rachel is in disguise wearing a long blond wing and is attempting to transfer Gundars money into her account. Someone hands her a newspaper and she looks at the headline and smiles as a message comes up on the screen that they are tracking her to that computer. She quickly gets up to leave and bumps into Alex. She tries to knee him in the balls, but he is prepared for her and is wearing a cup. She goes to turn, but Kelly is right there. Alex cuffs her and she tries again to charm him and ask if he wants to go on a stakeout in Greece for two weeks with her. Kelly tells him to say no and he snaps out of it. He tells him to say hell no and he does. She laughs and tells him at least they made the news and got the credit. Agents lead her away and Kelly asks what that meant. He says that she has to get the last word. Alex then picks up the paper and sees the headline about an agent who saved the world from a nuclear bomb and underneath is a picture of President Bush and Carlos in a parade. Kelly can't believe they got no credit and Carlos got his parade. Alex tells him they have to go back to Washington to debrief now, but Kelly doesn't care and leaves. Alex tells him he'll miss the new flying gel then. He asks what that is. He says something new they'll be using on the plane. They put the gel on them and then they are able to jump out of the plane and float to the ground. Kelly is excited because he always wanted to fly, in fact that was he said to make his grandmother hit him that first time. Kelly goes to get in the car and Alex tells an agent to get two jars of jelly and a couple parachutes and meet him on the plane. The End. 

My Review

    Let's not mince words. There is no way I would've gone to see this film in a thousand lifetimes if Malcolm wasn't it. That is the ONLY reason I even knew the film existed. The simple thing to say is, "What were they thinking?" The better thing would be to say, "They worked often, tried hard and failed much." While watching the film I really got a sense they wanted to do something good, but they just couldn't pull it off. While watching the Mtv special they said the "Sexual Healing" scene was the funniest moment in the film. Then they premiered the entire scene and there wasn't a laugh to be found. I knew then the movie would be awful.  I could just picture everyone on the set thinking they were all doing something so funny because they wanted to believe it, instead of realizing it was just a bad rehash of a James Bond film. Since the Bond film has been done ad nauseum for decades why do they think we need a poor substitute?
    The good things about the film are:
1. It doesn't make you throw up.
2. It is short enough so you don't fall asleep.
    The bad things about the film are:
1. The plot sickens. There is nothing new or interesting here. The big "Sexual Healing" scene has been done so many times and better even going back to drivel like "Different Strokes" with Arnold and the Gootch. Why did they think this scene was funny? Kelly tells him to sing and he just talks through it like a moron? How witty.
2. The humor. I thought they were trying to make a comedy? Since they have a comedian in the main role I think that is correct. If they were trying not to get any laughs they succeeded. I didn't laugh once during the whole film, not even a smile. I went to the "bargain" matinee so there were only six other people in the theater and I only heard two laughs from them the whole time.
3. The chemistry. Much hype was made about the great chemistry between Owen and Eddie, but there was none. It seemed painfully obvious that these characters didn't like or respect each other at all throughout the film. So how could there be anything between them, but contempt? Kelly makes it perfectly clear many, many times that anything he did was to be the hero, not because he cared about the mission. Alex is trying so hard to succeed that he doesn't follow any protocol and isn't interested in national security - just making himself look like the hero.
4. Owen Wilson/Alex Scott. There is nothing interesting about watching Owen on the screen and he brings nothing to the role. Alex admits he has just been recently promoted and is supposed to be a special agent. Throughout the film he either screws everything up or doesn't know what to do like a bad FBI trainee. It is impossible to believe that they would give missions to someone so inept. They make it seem like the only other agent they even have is Carlos. It might've worked better if he was a rookie, but why would they give him such an important mission? This was the first time I saw him act and is hopefully the last. In his interviews he is painful to listen to. He talks like a robot, extremely slow and unemotional. Thankfully he has a bit more life to him on screen, but not much.
5. Eddie Murphy/Kelly Robinson. Eddie Murphy hasn't had an on screen hit in years. He should just stick to doing animated voices. With bomb after bomb the writing is on the wall. Let's face it - he just isn't hungry. How can someone who makes $20 million a movie have a grasp on what is funny to the common man anymore? He doesn't even have to do anything or put butts in the seats in the theater. He gets paid up front. He needs to take a role for no money to try to get back to some real acting. Does anyone really believe a 5' 10" lightweight like Eddie could be a boxer anyway!? In the original show the character was a tennis player which would've been more realistic and god forbid - true to the story! This is probably the first Murphy film I have seen since the Beverly Hills Cop III fiasco and he looked almost the same, just the humor was missing. You can watch his Delirious concert from 20 years ago and even now it is funnier than this dreck. 
6. The raping of the original I Spy TV show. This movie had nothing at all to do with the original show. They took something that was cool and original and turned it into something cheap and awful like a three dollar whore. All the fun and charm of Cosby and Culp wasn't even anywhere near the screen here. They just took a good thing and dragged it's name through the mud. A better title would've been "James Bland."
7. The plane. Big deal, a stolen plane story!
8. The bombs. Alex can't get the self-destruct in the plane to stop, so he just pulls the bomb out and throws it off the bridge!? That is the best they could come up with? A high school play could do better. Why couldn't the terrorists do that themselves? I've seen car alarms that are more advanced than that. Just plain insulting. An at the end Kelly is using a nuclear bomb as a flotation device!? Since when do bombs float!? Pitiful.
9. The love story. Alex acts like a bumbling 14 year old virgin instead of a 35 year old. Totally ridiculous.
10. The boxing. This adds nothing to the story except to slow it down. The second fight Kelly easily bitch slapped Cedric while sparring, but couldn't take him for three rounds in the real fight!? It reminded me of those old Mexican Wrestling Crime fighting movies like Samson. He would go and work on solving a crime and then would have to go to earn his keep by wrestling. The try to make it seem real by selling ad space to HBO and having real boxing people. Who cares? The could've put the money into the script.
11. The editing. A few scenes seem really jerky and hastily cut. During the first boxing match Kelly is entering the building and then next shot he is at the ring and then next shot he is in the ring. I guess they were in a hurry to get it done.
12. The action. Nothing new or exciting here. They guys try to escape by a slow moving sheet that doubles for a balloon while the bad guys are only a few feet away?! They can't get shot, just the balloon. And they jump off a building and onto a car, but never get hurt! They didn't even learn from the Indiana Jones formula 21 years ago that it is more realistic to show the hero as a regular guy by getting beat up.
13. Rachel. How is it she worked for the agency for years and was also working for Gundars? They only have three agents and one is bad and they don't know it? There wasn't any indication of how or why she went bad. The fact that she could just look at Alex after beating up up on multiple times and he thinks she likes him is also pathetic. Even worse that they use this weak plot device a few times.
14. Carlos. I guess Antonio Banderas wasn't available? You mean even he turned this role down!?
15. Ancient racial humor. This is in just bad taste and Eddie allows it. When Kelly arrives at the airport there is a huge food spread of fried chicken, pork rinds, watermelon, etc. When Alex and Kelly have their fight Alex tells the cops "the black guy mugged me." I notice they left that gem of a line out of the previews. Wonder why? Painful.
16. Male bonding. The "methane makes you loopy" scene in the sewer was sad and useless. Because they are smelling shit they wind up opening up to each other? If that was true the whole audience in the theater would've been holding hands and singing "Kum By Ah". Plus the fact Gundars' men chased these guys all across the city and can't look into a nearby sewer to find them? Also Alex is impressed that Kelly made $27 million in a year?! That is chump change in boxing. They can almost make that in one fight, then add endorsements. I mean old fools like David Letterman make more than that for doing a talk sow no one watches.
17. Gadgets. I've seen more fun and better equipment in Bond films 30 years ago. Why would a spy carry a cell phone and his boss just call him in the middle of a mission!? What a stupid thing. What if he was sneaking up on the enemy and the cell phone goes off? Stupid. Plus Gundars falls for the old switch the pen trick? He can't tell a different looking pen from his own? Oh, I forget - it was a setup. Yawn.
18. President Bush. When the President calls Kelly he speaks all black like "What's up homie?" and "My bad." I guess that was supposed to be funny, but it was just sickeningly pathetic.
19. Austin Powers. It seems that with the enormous success of the Austin Powers series they opened the door for crap like this. They should've learned that without dick and toilet jokes that Austin is over and that series has deteriorated into bad self parody anyway without a laugh since the first film. We can only hope this will be the one and only film in the I Spy series. Or maybe they wanted to be Rush Hour? Just have a white and a black guy and boom! Instant box office! Not quite.
20. Malcolm. The biggest crime of all is that he had a decent amount of screen time, but isn't given anything to do. They had to give Alex and Kelly all the lines so Gundars doesn't even get a memorable line. Malcolm's role is just so generic and he isn't given a chance to do anything with it. We don't even know who he is, where he is from or anything about him. Think Mr. Magoo.

Rating: 1/10


This format © 2001-08 Alex D. Thrawn for www.MalcolmMcDowell.net