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| Classic Lines | Notes | Pictures | My Summary | My Review | Together Before


Character Actor
Baron Von Ghoulish Malcolm McDowell
Billy/Billy's Dad Richard Horvitz
Mandy/Milkshakes/Doll Grey DeLisle
The Grim Reaper/Sperg Greg Eagles
Santa Claus Gilbert Gottfried
Mrs. Nancy Claus Carol Kane
Dad #2/Man in Cave/Snow Monster/Bat/Kids Dee Bradley Baker
Cassie/Elf Amber Hood
Male Parent/Man/Father Time Richard McGonagle
Skarr Armin Shimerman
Female Parent/Mother Earth/Kid #2 BJ Ward

Story by Maxwell Atoms (Adam Burton)
Written by Nina Bargiel & Jeremy Bargiel
Storyboards by C.W. Greenblatt, Shaun Cashman, Debbie Cone, Brett Hagaon & Maxwell Atoms
Art Direction by Rae McCarson

Classic Lines

"Oh, I don't destroy anymore. Too messy..."



Malcolm's screen credit
The Baron's toothpaste & brush

Filing the teeth

No Reflection

You got dirt on my bed!

Vacuuming up

My Summary

Twas the night before Christmas, Santa had not yet departed
His sleigh was tricked out and his reindeer had farted.
His belly was swollen, his beard was all white
The elves were wound up on sugar delights.
He checked his list to see who was good
And they'll get their reward as good children should.
Some who aren't jolly, some who are not nice,
And Santa makes sure that they'll pay the price.
Twas a dark night before Christmas as children lay sleeping
It was the perfect time for holiday reaping. Ha ha ha ha!
Then Mandy gets squashed in a Monty Python foot gag.
    At the Endsville Shopping Mall Grim is having hamburger on a stick while they are waiting on line for the bathroom, yet it turns out to be the line for Santa. Billy thinks Santa is shopping. Mandy thinks Santa is a scam. Grim says he's real, he went to college with him. She says it's all a marketing scam. Cassie wants Santa to bring her wings so she can fly and Santa wants $1.50 more an hour. He explains disappointment is a present too. Billy then cuts to the front and lists 100 things he wants rapidly and asks why Santa has only 1 eye. Santa says Billy's been relieving himself on him the whole time hasn't he. Santa then freaks out, has to be led away, the crowd riots, tips over the Christmas tree and sets stores on fire. They smash windows, start beating people and burn the place down. 
    They have to leave and Mandy wants proof Santa exists. Grim says he will provide it and rips a hole in the fabric of the universe. They go to the north pole where the barge in on a Luke Skywalker and the Wampa parody of Luke hanging upside-down in a snow cave. Grim says that's not Santa's house and Billy gets his face ripped off. They find a sleigh running nearby, but Mandy still isn't convinced. Billy puts his tongue on the sleigh and it sticks, so he pulls it along.
    Grim knocks on the door, but no one answers, so he uses a skeleton key to get in. It turns out Mrs. Claus and the elves were hiding. She is so glad to see Grim and says it's been horrible. Now Mandy thinks he must be real. Billy does a victory dance and Mrs. Claus leads them to the basement. It's where the defective merchandise is. Broken Jack in the boxes, now Charlie's in the box, girls whose eyes fell out. Then she goes to a coffin where Santa has been since the accident. The elves open it up and they hear heavy breathing inside. Then Santa pops up, his face is all green, he's chained down. He screams he'll swallow their soul. Mrs. Claus explains he was bitten by a vampire. If they can't change him back there won't be a Christmas.
    They go back upstairs and Grim asks how it happened. She doesn't know, she was doing her chores and came back to find Santa trying to drink the blood of the elf who wanted to be a dentist. Grim says he hates the living dead and then Mandy cuts down the Christmas tree and it falls on him. She chops up the tree to make wooden stakes to take care of the head vampire. Mrs. Claus says to try the creepy Baron Von Ghoulish. He lives up the road down dead man's path, through the of crag endless stabbing pain, a left at the tree of evisceration, through the cave of horrible smells, through lovable pony meadow, then you'll be at the Forbidden Castle of No Return. Grim and Mandy go and leave Billy in charge of Mrs. Claus, he's the man of the household while they are gone. Mrs. Claus cries and Billy says he's a man now and will help.
    They climb up a long snowy path, the ponies gave them the worst fight. Baron Von Ghoulish is in the bathroom brushing his teeth which consists of putting cream on a metal file to sharpen his fangs while singing "Singin' in the Rain." Mandy breaks a large glass window to get in and he hears it. Grim is upset, there goes the element of surprise. The Baron is mad that they walked on his Dupioni silk bed spread, he's got to get it clean before the stain set, how is it so much dirt sticks to humans. He wants to know who'll pay for his window as it was crafted by local artisans, they are all objects d'art. He vacuums up. He explains he's the 13th of the clan, admits he's the head vampire. Mandy throws a stake into his chest and he turns to a pile of ash. They think their work is done, but the Baron comes back to life. He asks what she has done. She staked a little too far to the left and hit his dust busters. He explains they don't want him, they want the head head vampire, they reorganized things a 100 years ago. He was over on his labor day party and thinks he's knows him. They go to leave and he wants to join them when he hears they are saving Christmas. He's always wanted to, ever since he was a boy and we see it in flashback. Mandy says he's dead weight so the Baron begs her. Grim says he always wanted to save Christmas with a vampire sidekick since he was a boy so Mandy says OK.
    The Baron and Grim sing "We're off to save Christmas, we're cold, super cold, cause we have no jackets, yes, we have no jackets and we'll freeze. We're lost, oh so lost and we can't feel our fingers." Mandy wants them to stop and they wind up freezing in a block of ice.
    Back at the factory Mrs. Claus is making things and Billy gets stuck in a gingerbread house and eats talking gingerbread men. He changes the bulb on Rudolph's nose and Mrs. Claus is happy. He isn't because Santa isn't going to be doing anything as a vampire. She says he's the spirit of Christmas. She promises presents in the new world order.
    Mandy and crew arrive and go to talk to Santa about what he saw. Mrs. Claus locks them in the basement and Santa is loose. He hungers for blood and comes after them. Baron thinks Mrs. Claus is the head head vampire. He didn't know it until now. Mandy jumps up and starts singing "up on the rooftop" to try to snap Santa out of it. The Baron says she needs a big finish. She wants the world to be free of blood sucking monsters and goes to stake Santa, but Grim pulls her away.
    They use a vortex to get out and pop up in Santa's living room where Mrs. Claus admits she is the head head vampire. She wanted the Baron to destroy them, that's why she sent them to him. He says he doesn't do that anymore, too messy, but he did give them a stern talking to though and he takes off. Mrs. Claus says she always loved Santa. When he was young he tried to give stuff away, even giving blood to show his love. They got married and agreed to work as a team. Then he became too preoccupied with checking his naughty and nice list. She has to work all year, he only works 1 day. Mandy says she knows Mrs. Claus is unleashing a vampire to go down everyone's chimney to  make them all vampires. She says she didn't want that, but it's a good idea and unleashes an Elven vampire army.
    Billy is wandering along and goes into Santa's office. He goes to his desk and breaks his computer, then finds an emergency vampire kit and breaks it. It unleashes a hologram of Santa. He says if you are watching this he's been bitten by a vampire. He tells Billy to get a big bowl, Popsicle stick and cotton.
    Meanwhile Grim and Mandy are being chased down by vampire elves. He uses his sickle on them to no avail, so they have to escape by going on a conveyer belt. Mandy kicks and throws toys at them. They fall in a barrel of monkeys and go down a belt. The bats get Grim and he uses a robot toy to fight them off. They push bowling balls on them and escape, but then the bat gets Grim again. Mandy goes after Mrs. Claus who's hanging in an ice cave. Mrs. Claus spins around and turns into a vampire.
    Billy has his vampire antidote and brings it to Santa. He says "Exsqeeze me" then Santa smells the cookies and milk and likes them. He wolfs them down and burps loud. He changes back to normal and goes to see Mrs. Claus. Billy wants them to get along for Christmas. He says it's not a holiday about taking over the world. It's about food and giving. Santa says he's sorry for working her so hard. She says she can't stay mad at him and they make up.
    Mrs. Claus is sorry she put them all through this, she just needed some help. The Baron was hiding in the Christmas tree the whole time. He gets out and starts cleaning, saying only humans can make this kid of mess. Mandy thinks they can work it out getting Baron a job. Santa says he can't help who he falls in love with, Nancy was a vampire before he met her. Forgiving is what Christmas is all about, it's the 6th or 7th time she's done this to him. Mrs. Claus says it's the best Christmas ever, then gets hit in the face with a snowball from a kid outside. Then the bats take him out.
Ratt - "Round and Round" plays over the end credits.

My Review

    I had never seen this show before and had only heard of it in passing. I'm not much of a fan of modern animation, preferring the classic Warner Brothers and MGM shorts, so if Malcolm hadn't gotten involved in this show I never would've watched it.
    It begins with Grim's twisted retelling of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and ends with a gag no young child would ever get. This is the bizarre truth behinds these shows, they are really made for adults by adults. Sure a small child would enjoy it on a very basic level, but would have no idea that Mandy getting squashed by an animated cut out foot is right of Monty Python's Flying Circus which went off the air over 30 years ago.
    It then starts with the nightmare scenario of a big shopping mall at the holidays. The long lines and the insanity of it all. A disgruntled Santa is always funny, because you know what a miserable job it must be. It's been done before in cartoons, going all the way back to the first Simpsons episode, but here it's more lewd. A full scale prison style riot is also the perfect juxtaposition with the holiday spirit and the razor's edge between the underlying madness of the season that truly could erupt at any time.
    Surprisingly Grim truly does know Santa, maybe all mythological characters hang out together. Out of nowhere comes a Star Wars parody from the Empire Strikes Back with a man hung upside-down like Luke was in the Wampa cave - another thing your average kid won't get. The reaper having a skeleton key is a silly joke, then in a parody of The Island of the Misfits Toys, Mrs. Claus has a basement of toys that didn't come out right. Right after that is yet another old parody, this one from The Evil Dead 1982 when Santa pops out of his coffin yelling "I'll swallow your soul". Then yet another pop culture reference when Mrs. Claus says Santa wanted drink the blood of the elf who wanted to be a dentist. This is a nod to the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer 1960s TV special. 
    The living room tree goes down and it seems like a bad omen until we learn Mandy did it to chop up the wood to make stakes to kill the vampire. I would think Mrs. Claus would be mad at her for doing this, but she doesn't seem to care. Mrs. Claus then gives bizarre directions to the Baron's house. Everything is nasty until the last hurdle which is lovable ponies - the image pokes fun at My Pretty Pony. Then they trick us later when Grim says the ponies were the nastiest thing they faced.
    After 14 minutes MM's voice finally appears. What more could we want then him parodying A Clockwork Orange by being in the bathroom and crooning "Singin' in the Rain." It's also a funny take on vampires that he's brushing his fangs with a metal file. A great shot occurs when he hears them breaking in and turns around. We see in the mirror he casts no reflection, only the metal file is shown, so we know for sure he really is a vampire. But if you blink, you'll miss it. Mandy screws up by breaking in the window, unless she thought that the vampire would be asleep since it was daytime. That question wasn't addressed. Once again we are tricked, thinking since it's MM, he would be the big villain. Instead he turns out to be a fussy, English butler style vampire. He's more worried about them making a mess than anything else. It seems like he's gone for good after Mandy stabs him, but in another great twist she stabbed a dustbuster in his coat, that's why he turned to ash. He's such a silly vampire that he doesn't even know who is in charge. He's more worried about his antique window than Mandy stabbing him. More silliness ensues when he explains he's the head vampire and they want the head head vampire. It's a funny new twist on the whole overdone vampire theme. Then we get a great baby Baron flashback about him wanting to save Christmas.
    They head out and we are treated to Malcolm singing a very silly song about saving Christmas. It's always funny to hear him sing and it's extra funny that he's doing a duet as a vampire with the Grim Reaper. They even admit they are sold cold that they'll freeze and before we know it, the Baron and Grim are frozen solid in ice blocks and Mandy has to fix them.
    Billy just gets to be comic relief as he plays man of the house which consists of him doing all the chores Santa can't do or Mrs. Claus doesn't want to. He's sad because without Santa there'll be no Christmas anyway. Mrs. Claus let's it slip that she isn't what she seems when she mentions the new world order to him. He's too dopey to notice though.
    I was looking forward to MM interacting with Gilbert Gottfired as he is insane and is one of my favorite comedians. Unfortunately he isn't given much to do in the whole episode as he's a snarling vampire most of the time. Mandy is ruthless trying to lull Santa into a false sense of security just so she can kill him. They escape and the Baron gets off his best one-liner about not killing them because it's too messy and then is basically out of it for the rest of the show. There is no indication how as a vampire he survives if he doesn't like to drink people's blood. Maybe he's going to a blood bank like the character MM played in Tales from the Crypt.
    Then it turns into a long chase scene that leads into a fight showdown with Mrs. Claus. Billy on the other hand accidentally stumbles into the solution to Santa's problems, from Santa himself. It seems he has been through this before. Then we get another Star Wars reference when Billy says "Exsqeeze me" to Santa. This one is a line from the most annoying character of all-time - Jar Jar Binks.
    Santa forgives Mrs. Claus since she was upset from being overworked. Then the Baron reappears from behind the Christmas tree to clean up the mess. This gives Mandy the idea to get the Baron to team up with Mrs. Claus to make her life easier. So maybe we can get a sequel?
    Out of nowhere the cheese metal classic from 1984 "Round and Round" by Ratt plays over the end credits. This song is starting to pop up more lately. It's even the news theme song on KFI 640AM Los Angeles and WABC 770AM. It's such a bizarre choice for them to use, yet another old joke kid of today wouldn't understand.
    All in all the episode was short and sweet and MM was wickedly funny in his short role. He always makes a great vampire. Plus you get an ACO reference to boot, so what more could you want? On the other hand the animation is bad like I feared and the main characters are a bit annoying, so I won't be watching the series any time soon, unless of course MM returns, which I hope he does. I definitely recommend it. It's 35 minutes of silly fun and MM is always great in these animated roles. He usually goes wild and doesn't disappoint here. I would've liked more of him in the show and they certainly could've added some because an hour show usually comes out to 40-45 minutes after commercials. 
    The absolute worst thing was every 5 minutes blocking out the bottom 1/4 of the screen to promote/hype their online game. It's the worst garbage I've ever seen any channel splash across the screen. It was vile and repulsive, but since I was typing up the summary at least I didn't have to look at it the whole time so I wouldn't get got so mad. Even on the reruns they did this, so there is no way to escape it.

Rating: 8/10

Together Before

11/22/80 - Malcolm and Gilbert Gottfried did an episode of Saturday Night Live.

This page 2005-08 Alex D. Thrawn for www.MalcolmMcDowell.net