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Cast | Episode Guide | History of the Show | Interviews | Notes | Pictures | Summary | My Summaries | My Review | References to ACO | Origins of the Episode Titles | Together Again | Toys
|Captain Chuck Simian||Jerry Doyle|
|"Goddess" Shao Lin||Karen Maruyama|
|Dr. Splitz/Splitzy + Holo-boons||Maurice LaMarche|
|Orbitron + Holo-boons||Jeff Glen Bennett|
|Lord Nebula||Michael Dorn|
|Rhesus 2||Malcolm McDowell|
|The " "||Oliver Muirhead|
|The Glyph||David Warner|
|Doctor Kleb/Commander Gril||Ellen Gerstell|
|Vel-Dar Vane||Tress MacNeille|
|Gardener Allen Gladioluses||Rene Auberjonois|
|XY||1 - Yes, We Have No Bananas||09/07/96|
|XY||2 - Yes, We Still Have No Bananas||09/07/96|
|XN||3 - Ape-lien||09/14/96|
|Y||4 - The Monkey Has Landed||09/14/96|
|Y||5 - Gorilla My Dreams||09/21/96|
|N||6 - Gormongus!||11/02/96|
|XN||7 - Splitzy's Choice||09/21/96|
|N||8 - Invasion of the Banana Snatchers||11/09/96|
|XN||9 - Repo Ape||10/0596|
|XY||10 - Lawnmower Ape||11/16/96|
|Y||11 - Monkey in the Middle||11/23/96|
|XY||12 - The Apes of Wrath||02/01/97|
|XN||13 - Plan Ape From Outer Space||11/30/96|
|XY||14 - Mind Over Monkey||02/08/97|
|N||15 - Monkey Puzzle Man||01/25/97|
|N||16 - Planet of the Humans||02/15/97|
|N||17 - Felonious Monks||03/01/97|
|Y||18 - Little House on the Primate||02/22/97|
|N||19 - The Maltese Monkey||04/19/97|
|XY||20 - Rhesus Pieces||04/26/97|
|XN||21 - Escape From the PLANT of the Apes||05/03/97|
|N||22 - A Clockwork Orang||05/10/97|
|XN||23 - Surf Monkeys Must Dive!||05/17/97|
|Y||24 - The Mandrill Who Knew Too Much||06/07/97|
|Y||25 - Ape-pocalypse Now!||06/14/97|
|Y||26 - Ape-pocalypse...A Little Later!||06/21/97|
XY = I have it and Malcolm's in it.
XN = I have it and Malcolm's NOT in it.
Y = I don't have it and Malcolm's in it.
N = I don't have it and Malcolm's NOT in it.
How ironic is it that Malcolm in NOT in the Clockwork ep?
My 1998 Exclusive with Gordon Bressack - Series Creator
The Simian figures won best toy packaging for 1997 because of the rotating bubble feature.
The series has never been released on any home format.
and Rhesus 2 cheering
Rhesus 2 in space suit
Rhesus 2 getting kicked by Shao Lin
The star is Captain Chuck Simian. He was one
of the original monkeys launched into space by NASA. He was frozen for decades
and eventually found by the " ", a race so advanced that their name
cannot be spoken or written. They have been waiting for an ambassador from Earth
to take their place in the fight against the evil Lord Nebula who is intent on
destroying the Universe so he can rebuild it in his image. When Chuck gets to
the " "s planet, Lord Nebula is already attacking it. They quickly put
him through a process which gives him genius level intelligence. They also give
him a ship and the Orbitron, a floating orb which is also a super computer. The
Orbitron hand picks Simian's crew from Earth. A Spider monkey, a Tibetan monkey,
a Baboon and a Gorilla. Each in turn are given the same intelligence as Captain
Simian. But Gor-illa being the big ape that he is, accidentally destroys the
It isn't just Captain Simian and crew vs. Lord Nebula each week. The characters are also different. Captain Simian is the heart of the crew, Shao Lin, the only female, is the advisor,
Dr. Splitz is the scientist/mechanic, Spydor builds equipment with the junk he salvages, and Gor-illa is the brawn. Gor-illa is basically naive, loyal and lovable until he gets angry. Then like the Hulk, he turns into the beast Gormungus.
Simian takes orders from no one, but relies on Shao Lin for advice. In her old life she was worshipped as a god and is all logic and no nonsense like Spock from Star Trek. Spydor is from Brooklyn and is the comic relief or the Jerry Lewis to the Dean Martin straight man Gor-illa. Dr. Spltiz is the most complex character. Some times he is the all-knowing scientist,
but he is schizophrenic. He uncontrollably switches to Spiltzy, the raring and ready to go, tell it like it is, country monkey. It's like city mouse and country mouse.
Since I haven't seen all of them I'll use series creator Gordon Bressacks' summaries for ones I don't have until I see them - labeled (GB)
1 - Simian is under attack and through flashbacks he tells his history. (Read the summary). We also are introduced to Lord Nebula and his right hand cyborg monkey Rhesus 2. Rhesus can do interesting things with his brain. He can pull it out, cut it up, use it as a weapon and then replace it with a new one. Nebula warns him not to fail him because there was a Rhesus 1. He then shows him a bloody pile of bones.
2 - Simian continues his story. The crew get aboard the Primate Avenger only to find that it's built for humans. Nebula is bearing down on them, as well as Rhesus 2. So Simian grabs the Anti-Force which Nebula is hunting for and opens up two wormholes. He sends the crew back to Earth and he goes off alone. All seems lost when Simian's 'Speed Peeler' disintegrates and Nebula is going to pound him to bits. Just then the crew comes out of hyperspace to rescue him. The hole stayed open and after getting lost, they finally found their way back. To Simian they were only gone for minutes, but they were really gone for years. In that time they completely modified the ship and relived the 70s. Now that Simian is safe, he puts the Anti-Force in a disco ball and launches in into a sun. But Rhesus 2 anticipates this and snags it in time. He brings it back to Nebula, who is all energy and finds out he was tricked. It's a bomb! It goes off, changing Nebula into human form and Simian and co. are able to escape.
3 - If you've seen Alien then you'll like this parody. Simian and co. respond to a distress call and find a derelict ship, with the crew long since dead. They all split up and Simian directs them all not to touch anything. Of course Spydor finds away around this. He has found a Beamatron which can teleport objects while breaking them down into electrical impulses. He "stores" a fortune of crystals and a coconut in the bands and takes them back to the ship. Obviously the coconut is an egg. He goes to eat it and an alien larvae breaks through and bites him on the ass. Splitzy is able to remove it, but it has secreted Spydor's DNA and adapts to his form. With an unstoppable growth rate, superhuman strength and acid blood the creature seems impossible to contain. Eventually it gets Gor-illa's DNA and splits into two creatures after one of it's hand is severed. Spydor must sacrifice his fortune of crystals to make a cage that the Ape-lien can't escape from and jettison it into space.
4 - (GB) The crew lands on what appears to be Earth, but the planet is covered with jungle growth. They meet Lilith, the sole inhabitant, a charming and intelligent female monkey, who steals Simian's heart. While Simian believes he has come home, the others are suspicious and with good reason. Where is everybody? What's the deal with the mysterious Lilith? And why do they discover a huge statue of...Rhesus 2?
5 - (GB) Intercepting a message between Nebula and Rhesus 2, the Space Monkeys head to a distant galaxy, investigating a mysterious planet where GLOP could be generated. The Space Monkeys meet the ancient Gryxlpyx, who claims to be the guardian of a sleeping giant who, according to legend, is actually dreaming the galaxy. Rhesus 2 arrives to make the giant "dream up" some GLOP and, in the ensuing battle, we discover the surprising truth of the legend.
6 - (GB) Gor and Spydor are kidnapped by Apax, an inter-galactic fight promoter who wants Gor to be his next champion. But Gor, like Ferdinand the Bull, won't fight, to Apax's exasperation. While the rest of the crew arrives to the rescue, Apax uses a rare isotope he has perfected to turn Gor into a fighting monster, Gormongus! The good news: nothing can stop Gormongus! The bad news: nothing can stop Gormongus!
7 - The crew are attacked and driven off a planet by an angry mob because they caught Spydor cheating them at cards. They barely escape, leaving much of the city behind in a pile of rubble. Gor-illa then realizes that Spydor has been cheating him too and refuses to trust him. Meanwhile Dr. Splitz and Splitzy have had enough of each other, so Dr. Splitz builds a machine to eliminate his other half. While this is going on the ship takes some damage during the escape and begins to come apart at the seems. Simian and Shao Lin go down to the next planet to retrieve the element that they need to keep the ship from falling apart. While they are gone Dr. Splitz goes through with the irreversible process. Upon emerging they see the experiment didn't work. They have split into two, Dr. Spiltz and Spiltzy are their own monkeys and they don't get along any better. Down below there is trouble, the entire planet is made up with the element and is completely alive and attacks them. This makes the ship continue to fall apart with no chance of repairing it. Soon Dr. Splitz is separated from the ship and Splitzy has to save him. Dr. Splitz reveals that because of his extreme loneliness he created his alter ego. Now the two realize that together they make a great team, but are nothing when they are apart. Eventually Simian and Shao Lin retrieve enough to repair the ship, Spydor stops cheating and Dr. Splitz is able to reverse the process and become whole again. But that doesn't mean they can just get along.
8 - (GB) The Space Monkeys finally find some bananas, or did these bananas find them? The giant alien bananas "eat you up and spit you out." Spydor, Splitzy and Gor are captured and replaced with efficiency-obsessed clones. Simian and Shao Lin narrowly escape and must not only find a way to release the crew and shut down the huge intergalactic "clean-up" corporation that "recruited" them, but there's still all that paperwork!
9 - The ship picks up a coded transmission from Earth, but the decoder is in Simian's Gemini space capsule which is lost. Dr. Splitz is able to locate it in the XNJ 12 Galaxy, a very dangerous place. They hit a magnetic anomaly, a place where magnetic and anti-magnetic waves pull you in, but doesn't let you out. The crew is forced down on an airless junk pile. The create an atmosphere that gives them only one hour to figure a way out, but all is not as it seems. Long ago a salvage ship called Matrix was combing the galaxy recycling old starships until it was sucked into the anomaly. Once there it assimilated itself with all the other computer components there, setting itself up as a god. Then when anyone else was pulled in, they too would be recycled, alive or metal. The crew is forced to battle the robot army while Dr. Splitz goes of to launch a special torpedo to cancel out the magnetic effects giving them a small window to escape. Everything is looking up until Gor-illa and Spydor are captured. When Spydor convinces Matrix that they are alive Matrix taps into Gor-illa's brainwaves. Now he too want to be alive and is gaining more power by the second. Spydor snaps him out of it by making Gor-illa change into Gormongus. In the meantime, Simian has located the lost Gemini capsule. After more fighting, all are on the way, destroying the area, but leaving Matrix there to evolve over the next 20 centuries. When they get back to the ship and unscramble the message it reveals to be coordinates that Simian never received. All are glad that he didn't because if they did they never would have been together now.
10 - Simian develops a new maneuver in which they can break the ship off and turn it around without losing shield integrity. It requires the whole crew to work in unison. Why can't they just turn the ship around? Anyway, they are attacked by Rhesus 2 and put the maneuver into effect. Only Gor can't get a grasp on it and Simian chews him out. Gor wishes that he could be as smart as everyone else, so Dr. Splitz does an experiment to enhance his brain power. It works and soon Gor is smarter than everyone, including Dr. Splitz. They realize that Nebula is up to something big in the PG-13 galaxy and head there to stop him. Meanwhile Rhesus 2 has built a brain powered super weapon to finish off Simian and co. They arrive at the mining facility that Rhesus 2 is attacking and prove no match for him. Leviathan disables the Primate Avenger and the Speed Peeler. All seems lost. They turn to Gor for help, but with his ever increasing brain power he has no interest except for transcending to the next level. His pursuit of knowledge overwhelms everything, even the safety of his friends. He feels no emotion hence he cannot transform into Gormungus. Only after he downloads his memory into the computer is he able to turn into Gormungus and save the day. Afterwards he decides that his new found intelligence was more of a burden than a help and goes back to the way he was.
11 - (GB) While trying to stop Rhesus 2 from stealing gravitons from a cosmic storm, Simian gets a glimpse into another universe, where he encounters Vog, a one-dimensional alien. Back on the ship, everyone thinks Simian has gone coconuts when he claims to keep seeing the invisible alien. As Rhesus 2 attacks, Shao Lin must decide whether Simian is capable of commanding the ship.
12 - Rhesus 2 attacks the Primate Avenger's holo-boon generator with a pulsar weapon which disables it. The crew land on Vasquez 9 for the replacement part where Rhesus 2 has set up a trap. He switches the parts so that Spydor unknowingly gets a corrupted board. When installed, a new kind of holo-boon emerges. He is in a black uniform and talks like Captain Kirk. While the crew figures out what happened the new boon creates an army of holo-boons loyal to him. Soon there are thousands of them. They all gather for a Nazi style rally in the hanger deck where Simian and co. learn what's going on. They attack, but are unsuccessful. The only plan they have is to make a copy of Simian's brain and replace Rhesus 2's brain in the holo-boon generator. Meanwhile the boons have rendezvoused with Rhesus. He wants to use them as his own personal army so he can overthrow Nebula. His plan doesn't work and the holo-boons capture him instead. Simian's plan fails as well and he too is captured. Only by playing music through the ships stereo is he able to finally disrupt the boons signal, destroying them and freeing himself and Rhesus 2. This episode is a big parody of the original Star Trek.
13 - The Avenger is running low on fuel as they encounter an electric anomaly. Simian decides the go through to suck out the power from it and convert the power to fuel. The plan fails when they find out the anomaly is alive and wants to eat them. The only way they can escape is to go through an uncharted wormhole. The anomaly follows them through and Simian powers down on a nearby meteor. This tricks the anomaly and they head to the nearest the nearest planet to refuel. The only problem is the meteor is on a collision course with the planet and impact is in 43 minutes. Their translators don't work and and the two groups aren't able to communicate. The race on the planet thinks they've come to invade and open fire. Simian goes off in the Speed Peeler to talk to them personally. Nothing works. He is shot down and captured and when the Avenger lands they are surrounded by the army. Only until Gor trashes their tanks do they back off. They go off to rescue Simian and when Gormungus emerges they are victorious and the creatures want to surrender, but Simian still can't make them understand, even with the translator reactivated. His final plan is to get them to attack as he flies the Avenger right at the meteor so they'll shoot it down themselves since the Avenger isn't capable of doing in on their own. Look for 'Star Trek' 'E.T.', 'King Kong' and 'The Day the Earth Stood Still' references in this one.
14 - Nebula tells Rhesus 2 that the anti force, the key to all his plans, is in the Primate Avenger. Rhesus devises a plan to get rid of the crew without destroying the ship. He allows himself to be captured by Simian then plants a bomb on the ship and blasts he way out. The crew can't understand why he did this, until they learn that the bomb will only kill them and not harm the ship. The problem is that it is set to go off in 20 minutes and each one of them must confront their worst fears from their pasts, in the form of holograms, before they can get to it. Spydor's is a pit bull, Gors is fire, Splitz's is a cage, Shao Lin is hands attacking her, and Chuck's is being frozen back in his shuttle. The last one is Rhesus 2's. His is the original memories of his creation. Only after all are completed are they able to get them bomb in Rhesus' original brain. Then they mail Rhesus' original brain back to him as a birthday present. He hates, hates, hates that brain.
15 - (GB) Spydor embroils the Space Monkeys in a brawl between a mysterious and charismatic alien space pirate, Lago Thrix, and the cyberpunk Blackhole Gang. Simian reluctantly grants Lago passage to his home world, and on the journey, Lago impresses Dr. Splitz, Spydor and Shao Lin with his talents, while Splitzy, Gor and Simian are jealous. What exactly are Lago's talents (did he have a tail when we first saw him?) and is he somehow linked to Rhesus 2 and Nebula?
16 - (GB) The Space Monkeys land on a planet where humans are primitive and warlike (imagine the chances of that!) and two stranded alien creatures are undergoing a rite of passage. While one of the young aliens, Larnus, befriends the monkeys, his brother, Tronus, joins with the humans to capture them. As the monkeys seem outnumbered, the adult aliens arrive to pass judgment on their young and reveal a world where evolution doesn't quite work the way you might expect.
17 - (GB) The Space Monkeys take a "shortcut" through a wormhole and get caught in a sub-space speed trap. The Primate Avenger is towed to an asteroid where the monkeys stand trial - all except Shao Lin, who refuses to leave the ship. It's a good thing too, because the judge turns out to be none other than Apax, the intergalactic con-artist, who throws them into prison where deadly Rolpenoids stand guard. Now it's up to Shao Lin to break her friends out of jail and bring Apax to real justice.
18 - (GB) Searching for a "place to hang", the Space Monkeys explore a blue jungle planet. Meanwhile, a microscopic ship of alien Kwellian pioneers is also looking for a home, and they too find the perfect place to settle... Spydor's rear end! Simian and the others shrink down to Kwellian size to convince the intruders to go elsewhere; but while they battle static cling, fleas and angry aliens, Rhesus 2 arrives and kidnaps Spydor to pluck his brain. Will the Space Monkeys be able to save Spydor's brain?? (not to mention his... well, we won't mention it.)
19 - (GB) Having sustained damage battling a Dunconian Destroyer, the crew lands on the planet Maltese. The Maltesian motto is "trust no one" and with good reason: Gor returns from a mysterious outing with Spydor during which the Orbitron was stolen from them. Worse, the broken Orb is now spouting a binary code that could be disastrous in the wrong hands. So the crew follows the Orbitron's trail through a noirish world of alien gangsters and molls where nothing is what it seems. Not even some monkeys....
20 - Rhesus 2 attacks Captain Simian's ship and soon overwhelms him, forcing the crew to surrender. But it is trick and soon Rhesus is captured. They are able to subdue him by replacing his brain with a calmer one. We then learn about that the thought to be dead Rhesus 1 has been reborn and is leading an alien strike force to take down Lord Nebula. Simian and co. and Rhesus 1 and co. agree to fight Nebula together. All confront each other on a barren world.
21 - Simian's ship is captured by a forest ship. It seems that a gardener took trees and plants off his planet before it was destroyed. Now the garden ship has been floating around space ever since. The gardener has become too old to take care of the plants and has given his last energy to physically link himself to the plants. He thought this would solve everything. Now the ship captures anyone it can so they can have a new gardener to care for them. Unfortunately for Simian, they will use force to get what they want. The plants choose Gor-illa as their new gardener and he is happy to do it. All goes wrong when Simian won't let him stay and the plants get violent. Gor-illa sees his friends get attacked and is not happy about it. The only answer is to find the original gardener and break the link.
22 - (GB) What the Space Monkeys need are a few good androids to take over for them in defending the universe. But all Dr. Splitz can do is make a friend for Gor out of twine and paper clips: a cute little orangutan android named Isaac. When the crew goes in search of more advanced machines on Cyber 1, the monkeys discover the planet is run by the former computer, Matrix, who believes he has created life -- a whole civilization of robots. Will the monkeys escape this cybernetic nightmare... and is Isaac more monkey or machine??
23 - Simian and co. stumble upon a planet that is covered with water and doesn't have long before it explodes. They go down to help, but are attacked by a water cannon which disables their shields. The crew has no choice but to crash land in the ocean. By the time the ship hits the bottom, the hull is breached and all seems lost. But before they drown, they realize that the water is mostly made up of air and is breathable. They soon see the source of the weakening planets core. A race of fishmen are mining the precious mineral out of the core. Simian warns them to stop, but they are enslaved by the fishmen who live in the cities above the water. They aren't allowed up there so it's up to Simian and co. to resolve it. They soon find out they are using the ore for weapons. They are attacked and must flee back into the ocean. Once Simian can prove that their ore is being used for weapons, civil war erupts, but is it too late for the planet below?
This is a fun show, pure and simple. It's
also a pretty good one. I base this on the fact that when Malcolm isn't in an
episode I am not bored to death. I still enjoy it. This isn't your typical good
guys vs. bad guys show. Out of the shows I've seen only the one's with Malcolm
are good vs. bad. This is OK, because Rhesus 2 throws out lots of brain jokes
and assorted wickedness to keep it interesting.
I can't recommend the show enough. If you can find it, it's worth it. In jokes and witty dialog are there for the adult crowd too. With a 50% chance of Malcolm and interesting and funny characters and different stories how can you go wrong?
In Episode 2
I'm singin' in the brain.
In Episode 10
Welly, welly, welly, well.
In Episode 20 there are no less than three 'ACO' references!
Upon first sighting Capt. Simian's ship.
Welly, welly, welly, well.
After capturing Rhesus 2 Dr. Splitz is repairing him.
Capt. Simian (to Dr. Splitz)
How are the repairs going?
Like clockwork. Orange captain? (he is holding an orange)
Right after, Dr. Splitz inserts a brain into Rhesus 2
There was me Alex, and my three droogs...
Whoops! Wrong brain.
1994 - Malcolm McDowell & Michael Dorn were in Star Trek Generations.
Carded Rhesus 2 Front
Carded Rhesus 2 Back
Rhesus 2 Bubble View
The red brain can be removed and replaced with the blue one with the cord attached to it and the brain gun. The gray brain is the projectile for the gun. The curly silver piece is the tail. The figure includes two deadly weapons: Brain Blaster Gun! + Insta-Vine (like a whip it stretches out three time as long as the figure so you can hang him anywhere) The brain gun hooks into the figures' brain and fires a brain! A cool packaging feature is that you can spin the entire figure in the package like it's spinning around in space. Made by Mattel. The back of the card has a character bio and lists all the other figures and accessories in the line. The other 5 figures come in the same case as Rhesus 2. The ships and the Gormongus are exclusives.
This page except where noted ©1997-08 Alex D. Thrawn for www.MalcolmMcDowell.net